Stuck In The Middle With You
by Schnickledooger
Summary: Seishirou and Subaru are trapped in an elevator together. Kamui is freaking out. Fuuma is enjoying the whole situation immensely. Beware the madness…


**Disclaimer: **I do not own **X/1999** or **Tsubasa Chronicles**, CLAMP does, which is the reason the characters within them are subjected to so much torture and angst.

**Summary: **Seishirou and Subaru are trapped in an elevator together. Kamui is freaking out. Fuuma is enjoying the whole situation immensely. Beware the madness…

**A/N: **Numbers within parentheses indicate a footnote explained at the bottom.

**Stuck In The Middle With You **

Subaru sighed as he pressed the button for the elevator and waited for it to come to a stop on his floor of the huge skyscraper where he was job-applying. No, scratch that, where he _had been_ job-applying. Unfortunately, his potential employer had seemed more interested in the _physical_ attributes he could offer, not his mind and skills. Subaru shivered as he remembered the balding glasses man groping him inappropriately and hoped he could escape the building before the man's secretary discovered her unconscious boss and the massive dent in his office's wall. The only good thing Subaru could manage to see in the whole situation was that Kamui hadn't been there to witness the act. His little brother was a bit over-protective of him (and might he say obsessed too?) and would probably have snapped the guy's neck and flung him through the large glass window instead of delivering a minor bump on the head.

So far, from the amount of time they had spent in this current world, Subaru had decided it was worse than the one from which they had just come. _That_ world still confused him. When they had arrived in that country, Subaru had been surprised to see that the society had been divided into two classes: those with cat ears and tails and those without. (1)He noticed that children were in the majority of those who possessed feline features while most adults were earless. More startling was the fact that he, himself had somehow grown cat ears and a tail, while Kamui did not. He had never discovered the reason behind this odd happening, although he suspected that his brother had in their time there, for one day Kamui had come home to their apartment red-faced and had holed himself up in his room. Subaru had pressed his ear against the door in concern but only could make out angry cursing and stuttering and muffled phrases such as, "Fuuma…kill him…even if…hot night…this world SUCKS!"

They left that world as quickly as possible, and Kamui had declared the only good thing about that world had been seeing that his onii-chan's ears were still intact. Subaru was still perplexed but Kamui had never bothered to explain what that had meant.

So now they were in this world, which seemed like an echo of a 21st century Tokyo, and both vampire brothers were out searching for a place to stay and a temporary position to support them in their brief stay. The elevator bell dinged and the doors opened. Subaru stepped inside and silently hoped Kamui was having better luck than him.

oOoOoOo

Kamui growled low in his throat as he stalked angrily down the crowded sidewalks, causing several little kids to scream in fear at his deranged expression and flee madly away. Aside from the fact that he was still extremely pissed off at the last world he and his brother had visited (stupid freaky cat people and their Unspoken Rules of the Ears), he wasn't having much luck finding a new place for them to live. So far, he had had ten landlords laugh uproariously and slam a door in his face when he told them no, he didn't have a job, no, he couldn't give any references, of course it was none of their damn business why he was dressed up in "some weird cosplay outfit", no, he wasn't some super teenage idol and they weren't on a game show to win a million dollars, and did they want their throats ripped out if they continued laughing at him?

He had had to dodge several run-ins with the police for "threatening the safety of innocent civilians" and had had to resist the rising vengeful urge to suck every one of those idiots dry and discard them like empty husks. He knew his brother wouldn't be pleased if he gave in to his violent temper. Subaru possessed a kind, gentle nature and did not like seeing people hurt. He and his twin brother really were polar opposites.

Kamui turned a corner and yelped as he smacked right into someone's broad chest, causing some delicate bones in his nose to crack. That was it! He didn't care if it was an accident or not, he had had _enough_! Today was not a good day to get on his bad side!

Kamui's mouth turned upward in a smirk, showing his sharp fangs as he readied himself to attack the person in front of him…a person who seemed awfully familiar with that dark hair and red-tinted glasses…

"FUUMA!" Kamui exclaimed, his pupils narrowing to slits in shock. "What are you doing here?!"

"What? No hello kiss?" Fuuma asked, smiling roguishly at him, "I was hoping you were missing me terribly from our last good-bye together and came to comfort you."

Kamui snarled at the innuendo and leapt at him, his nails enlarging and lengthening several inches as he slashed them through the air in a sweeping arc directed at the other's face.

The next thing he knew, he was struggling to free his hand, which was stuck partway through a brick wall, and Fuuma was maintaining a firm grip on his wrist.

"Tch, tch, claws in, you naughty kitty!" Fuuma chided, tapping one finger lightly on Kamui's bruised nose. "Speaking of which, how did you enjoy the last world you were in? It was easy for me to pick up your trail there…especially since _everyone _could then see the after-effects of my introducing you to the pleasures of adulthood."

"FUUMA, YOU BASTARD, I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" Kamui yelled, his eyes turning a dangerous shimmering yellow as he finally managed to wrench his trapped hand from the wall and took another swipe at the treasure hunter.

Fuuma dodged the assault easily yet couldn't resist taunting the vampire one step further, "Really, what is all the fuss about? I didn't hear you complaining_ that_ night…"

"SHUT UP!" Kamui swore, feeling his face flare up like it was on fire as he hurled himself through the air at the other in a frenzy, claws pointed outwards.

"I must say, though, it _was _a bit disconcerting to see my older brother suddenly spring cat ears though," Fuuma said as he leapt over Kamui's attack. "Even I assumed he had some experience _at that. _I had no idea he was saving himself for your vampire twin he's stuck on."

"What?" Kamui said, halting his attack, a kind of fear coursing through his veins at the words. "Your brother—"

"I didn't have fun at all there," Fuuma stated, crossing his arms and grimacing in remembrance, "Between listening to him ramble on about how he couldn't betray his love then getting the Safe Sex Talk when he saw I didn't have my ears…"

"WHAT?!" Kamui squeaked, feeling a bit sick himself at the idea that _that man_ knew he had been intimate with Fuuma.

"Yes, it was quite traumatizing," Fuuma said, sighing dramatically as a sly grin broke out across his face. "I need some Kamui to make me feel better!"

Kamui ignored the last part, his mind only focusing on one thing.

"Your brother is here on this world with you?" he demanded an answer, raising his claws intimidatingly.

"Of course," Fuuma said, smirking as he put his hands in his pockets and took a casual stance. "Now where do you suppose he is at this very moment?"

Kamui's eyes widened in realization and he did an about-face turn and hurled himself into the air to jump on top of the nearest building where he continued to race along the rooftops in a mad desperation, following the link that flowed between him and his brother.

If _that man _was here, then he might be too late.

_Subaru...I'm coming. _

oOoOoOo

Seishirou ran his hands across the top of his head for the umpteenth time checking to make sure his cat ears from the last world were non-existent here. That had been quite a humiliating experience once he had figured out what having cat ears there had meant. Fuuma had gotten a good laugh out of that and he had had to resort to Step 2 of The Talk just to shut him up. In the meantime, while tracking the vampire twins' trail, Seishirou had had to put up with points and stares from the people of that world who were far too curious for their own good about an adult man still possessing his cat attributes. One female even had the gall to walk straight up to him and give them a hard yank to make sure they were real. That incident had opened up a whole new can of worms, for then he had begun to receive dozens and dozens of requests from overly-eager women _and _men to "assist him in getting rid of those pesky ears". Fuuma had nearly busted a gut trying to refrain himself from laughing, not looking forward to getting another Talk lecture.

_Blast! This was all Subaru's fault anyway!_ Seishirou smoldered as he waited for the elevator to arrive at his floor.

He knew that vampire's number alright. Subaru might act all chaste and innocent, but he was really a tease, a minx playing hard-to-get, making him traverse universe after universe to catch him. Honestly, had the boy really been so frightened by a few passionate kisses that he had had to suddenly up and run away? Seishirou still remembered when he had suggested they do more than kiss.

"_B-But Seishirou-san!" Subaru had cried startled, his green eyes growing alarmingly shiny full of water. "We're…we're…we're not married yet!" _

Alright, so maybe Seishirou regretted that he had stiffened in fear of the M-word and transported away in a flurry of sakura petals without saying anything further. It might have given Subaru the wrong impression of his intentions. Maybe that was why the vampire had taken off so abruptly across the vast void of worlds, although there seemed to be this rumor concerning him and Subaru's blood floating around now. He would have to put a stop to that somehow.

A bell dinged and the doors slid open revealing a much-crowded elevator. Seishirou was tempted to just wait for another one or take the stairs, but he changed his mind. He was on the 87th floor after all and that was a lot of flights to walk down and he had waited a full ten minutes for this elevator anyway. No telling how long the next one would be.

He stepped into the elevator and squeezed himself into a tiny space in the front. As the elevator started down, Seishirou wondered why he was at this building in the first place. It was true he could feel Subaru's presence, but then that had been true of all the worlds he had visited, and he had always been days, weeks, or months behind him. Subaru may have been here before, but it certainly didn't mean that he was here right now or even still on this world.

Seishirou's eyebrows furrowed further as his irritation spread. Damn, he needed a cigarette _now_!

The elevator stopped one story down from the floor where Seishirou had been waiting and the doors opened to reveal a young boy in a black and white sailor school uniform complete with a white hat. The kid was short in stature with tousled brown hair, brown eyes, and a face that held an expression between a blank slate and a scowl. (2)

Seishirou tried not to start violently at the sight of the boy. It seemed he had run into his former student Syaoran's doppelganger on this world. How peculiar. Other than a curious glance at him as the boy stepped into the elevator, it appeared this country's Syaoran did not have a familiar relationship with his own double (assuming he had one here).

The boy compressed himself as tightly as possible to the side near the button-panel where he pressed floor 85, one story down, causing the people in the crowded elevator to groan and moan loudly.

"Hey, kid, you're young! You could have just taken the stairs!"

"I'm on a tight schedule, you brat!"

"These elevators aren't exactly the fastest shooting rocket, you know!"

"You young whippersnappers have no respect or consideration for your elders!"

Syaoran said nothing, keeping his gaze directed in front of him, showing no outward signs that he had heard their lamenting.

The elevator dinged merrily as it stopped on floor 85 and opened, but the boy did not move to get off for a few seconds. Then in one brilliant and timed out act, the boy ran his hand down the control panel in one swift motion, successfully pressing every single button and jumped off the elevator just as the doors began closing.

"BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Syaoran laughed, an evil triumphant look on his face as he smirked at everyone's shocked expressions, which were slowly turning into outrage, but it was too late to retaliate.

The last they saw of the boy was of him blowing them all a raspberry as the doors slid shut and the elevator continued its trip downwards…or tried to anyway. However, when the control panel's buttons began twinkling out of sync like Christmas lights and the lift gave several violent shudders and jolts before careening to a halt midway between floors…Seishirou thought it safe to assume they weren't going anywhere for awhile.

Despite it all, Seishirou found a wide grin wafting across his face. This world's Syaoran appeared far more rambunctious than the original one he knew. It was a nice change.

Unfortunately, the other occupants of the elevator did not share his view.

"THAT LITTLE BRAT!"

"IF I EVER SEE HIM AGAIN, WHY I'LL—"

"I'M A PRIVATE EYE! I'M GONNA TRACK THAT LITTLE MONSTER AND SUE HIS PARENTS FOR ALL THEY'RE WORTH!"

"I'M CLAUSTROPHOBIC! OH DEAR GOD, THE WALLS ARE CLOSING IN ON ME! I CAN'T BREEEEEEEEEEATHE!"

"DON'T BE AN IDIOT! WE HAVE MORE CHANCE AT FALLING EIGHTY-SOME STORIES AND BEING SMASHED TO A PULP THAN RUNNING OUT OF AIR!"

"OMIGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!"

And with that, the crowded elevator erupted into sheer panic and chaos as everyone attempted to claw the walls…literally.

Seishirou found himself pressed tight against the sealed doors by crushing bodies, barely able to move, and his ears deafened with fearful screams and wails.

Forget the last world being the most annoying—this one had just topped it.

"Agh, excuse me, ma'am, but you're squishing meee!" came a familiar voice from the back…a _very_ familiar voice.

And suddenly Subaru appeared in front of his vision, wearing an expression of extreme discomfort as he wormed his way through the stricken mass of people to reach the front of the elevator...and came face to face with—

"Seishirou-san!" Subaru gasped in surprise…(and was that a small bit of delight or was it just wishful imagining?).

Then Subaru let out a startled cry as he was crushed into the sealed doors right next to Seishirou from the crowd behind.

Seishirou was elated, his head felt like it was spinning dizzily and his heart was fluttering crazily at the sight of the person he had been chasing for what seemed forever. Of course, these symptoms could all have been from the lack of air in the elevator due to the amount of body heat from all the other people, but Seishirou tossed that notion aside. This was fate! Destiny! An unbreakable bond which tied them together! And now he could finally ask that question which he should have asked a long time ago…

"Subaru-kun, what is this ridiculous rumor I keep hearing about me fixated on your blood or something to that extent?" Seishirou inquired, narrowing his eyes at the vampire expectantly.

"W-What?" Subaru said, blinking his big green eyes in that adorably clueless manner of his that Seishirou found hard to resist.

"Yes, there is this rumor on every world I've visited so far that I am after your blood, and everyone seems to have spawned up some ludicrous theory of why. So far I have been accused of desiring to become a vampire, people confusing me with being a_ vampire_ hunter, not a treasure hunter, or that I already _am_ a vampire. Would you be so kind as to explain how this rumor got so blown out of proportion?" Seishirou demanded.

Subaru's lower lip trembled causing Seishirou to use every ounce of self control he possessed not to simply pounce on the boy and capture that luscious mouth with his own.

"Well, you see," Subaru started, squirming embarrassedly against the sealed doors as best he could given the close proximity of everyone. "Remember that one time when you were teasing me about what it'd be like if you were a vampire and you were…_practicing _on me…"

Here Subaru flushed a shocking shade of red (well, as red as a vampire could manage), and Seishirou could not hide the smug grin that slid across his face with pride at the memory.

"_A-Aah, S-Seishirou-san!" Subaru moaned in ecstasy as the older man kissed his way slowly down his neck, nipping playfully at the skin until it had swollen into a beautiful purple color._

"_Mmm, Subaru-kun, is this what you do to your victims?" Seishirou purred and Subaru shuddered delightfully as the warm breath tickled his ear. _

"_Tell me, do you take their every emotion, twist them around until they cannot recognize pleasure from pain and make them cry out, beg for release?" Seishirou asked in a soft-spoken whisper as he__buried his face into the crook of Subaru's neck, slipping his hand underneath the__vampire's shirt and up his chest…_

"_GET THE HELL AWAY FROM MY BROTHER, YOU SICK DEVIL!" _

_And of course, the mood had been spoiled by his love's twin brother. Future in-laws were always such a pain._

"Well, Kamui may have sort of, kind of, maybe started a few of those rumors about you on purpose to steer people clear of you. He figured if everyone saw you as a rogue, it would be hard for you to dig up information on our whereabouts," Subaru stated sheepishly.

"_What?" _Seishirou growled, feeling deeply affronted.

He always had known Subaru's brother was an irritating little twat but he had had no idea he could be so vindictive. Really, the very idea that he was some maniacal villain seeking someone's blood for his own devious purposes…well, now that he thought about it, he certainly wouldn't mind shedding Kamui's at the moment. Too bad Subaru would never forgive him if he did.

"Well, that needn't matter now. I have found you anyway, haven't I?" Seishirou said, smiling in victory as he reached out and gently cupped Subaru's cheek.

"Seishirou-san," Subaru spoke softly, placing his hand over Seishirou's own.

"THIS IS IT! THE END! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!!!"

"I NEVER WANTED TO BE A SALARY-MAN IN THE FIRST PLACE! I WANTED TO BE A SWIMSUIT MODEL!"

"AMI AND YUMI, I LOVE YOU AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO ADMIT IT! NO ONE ROCKS LIKE PUFFY!!!"

It seemed like the elevator's occupants were embracing the assumed inevitable.

"It's a bit crowded in here, don't you think?" Seishirou stated, reaching into his vest pocket and pulling out a glowing white feather.

"Oh, that's—!" Subaru exclaimed, his eyes widening in recognition.

"You know what this is?" Seishirou asked curiously, noting the recognition on the vampire's face.

"Sakura's feather! Yeah, we met up with Syaoran and crew a few worlds ago," Subaru confessed.

"Oh, yes, Fuuma told me about that," Seishirou said remembering. "Though most of the story he told me revolved around a 'fiery, arrogant, yet gorgeous dark-haired vampire' who had stolen his heart. I very nearly killed him before he told me it was that temperamental brother of yours. No one takes what belongs to me. Subaru is mine and mine alone."

"Seishirou-san!" Subaru gasped, blushing again.

Seishirou chuckled at the vampire's flustered countenance and stated, "You'll find _this_ feather does not provide shields. However, it _does_ allow me to manifest any imaginary world into the real one." (3)

A small frown line appeared between Subaru's eyebrows indicating his puzzlement.

"It's quite simple," Seishirou explained. "You take some technological or inanimate object like this—"

Here the treasure hunter deftly plucked a mini snow globe keychain (portraying a scene at the beach) from the cell phone of some woman who was tearfully leaving a message of farewell to her two cats, Binky and Mr. Num-Nums, and held it up in example.

"Then you tap it with the feather like so," Seishirou said demonstrating, "And viola! Instant Imaginary World In Real Life at your disposal!"

"Um, Seishirou-san," Subaru spoke up a bit hesitantly.

"Yes, Subaru-kun?" Seishirou inquired, puffing out his chest proudly at displaying his finesse in front of his beloved.

"Do these Imaginary Worlds In Real Life obey the laws of nature?"

"I assume they do. Why?"

"Well, because according to the laws of physics," Subaru said, looking very perturbed, "if you just created an entire oceanic world, then this elevator is going to—"

"FLOOD! OH DEAR LORD, THE ELEVATOR IS FLOODING! HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?!"

"SOMEONE TELL ME I'M ON CANDID CAMERA PLEASE!!!"

Seishirou was rudely jolted out of his euphoria by the hysterical shouts of the rest of the elevator's occupants and turned his attention to the air vents which were pouring water into the lift at an alarming rate. The man looked down at the floor in which the water was already ankle deep and arched an eyebrow incredulously. Well that was completely out of character for him. How could he, who possessed such keen wits, not have thought the situation out wholly beforehand and foreseen the consequences?

He blamed Subaru. He had always been undone just being in the proximity of the vampire. Whenever he was around Subaru, he seemed to lose grasp of his senses. Sentimentalists would call it love. Seishirou didn't bother to put a label on it, he simply reveled in the feeling whenever it decided to fall upon him. Clearly though, he was going to have to reevaluate the issue. This "love is blind" thing might be true.

"WHAT THE FRIG? IT'S SNOWING NOW TOO? I'M GOING TO BE BOTH DROWNED AND FROZEN AT THE SAME TIME?!"

Seishirou and Subaru gazed in amazement as large snow flurries floated down from out of the air in a healthy sheet to settle in the rising water among the people.

From out of nowhere a red and white beach ball bounced off a man's head, taking his toupee with it.

Several seagulls flew around the small entrapped space crying viscously, one woman screamed as she was knocked off her feet by a giant sea turtle, and two other people did a mad dance to shake off the crabs clinging to their clothes.

"Hmm," Seishirou mused, cupping his chin between his forefinger and thumb, "Perhaps it wasn't such a bright idea creating an oceanic world in an elevator, particularly from a snow globe."

"Seishirou-san!" Subaru yelled as the shock wore off. "Quick, change it back!"

Already the water had risen to knee-height and it showed no sign of stopping.

"I'm afraid I can't," Seishirou admitted.

"What? Why not?!" Subaru cried, treading the water as anxiety hit.

"This feather only allows me to make realities, not UN-make them," Seishirou stated matter-of-factly. "I suppose it could work either way, but I've never tried unmaking a reality. Even if I figured out how, it'd probably be too late for us."

"_Seishirou-san!" _Subaru shouted exasperatedly. "You have to do _something_!"

"Right!" Seishirou declared, smacking his fist into the palm of his hand, his glasses glinting dangerously. "Subaru…you're a mermaid!"

"W-W-WHAT?!" Subaru shrieked in disbelief just before an odd tingling sensation seized him and he fell backwards into the water with a resounding splash.

Sputtering wildly, he resurfaced only to realize the lower half of him had…

"FINS?!" Subaru squeaked, absolutely mortified at his green fish tail.

"Green suits you, Subaru-kun," Seishirou said beaming with a nod at his masterpiece. "It matches your lovely eyes."

"How is this helping the situation?!" Subaru demanded with pink-tinged cheeks, as he flailed about in the water.

"Well, I doubt I shall find a way to unmake this world in time, so I thought I would transform my Subaru-kun into something equally cute to survive this mishap. Mermaids can breathe underwater," Seishirou explained jovially.

"This is_ not_ the solution I had in mind!" Subaru yelled in dismay.

"Don't worry about a thing, Subaru-kun! We two shall be happy fishies swimming in the blue until I discover the method of rescue!" Seishirou said in a sing-song voice not seeming disturbed at all that he was now chest-deep in the water. "Besides, Subaru-kun looks far more pretty than the mermaid in the snow globe!"

Subaru decided he really hated snow globes…possibly more than elevators.

oOoOoOo

Kamui ended his mad dash into the building where he could feel Subaru's presence; however he was baffled at the link's indications. It appeared to be telling him that Subaru was stuck in between the levels of the top-most floors…

"YOU!" he shouted, running up to the main floor's receptionist behind the information desk. "Where are your elevators?!"

"Around to the left, but it won't do you any good," the receptionist replied. "We've closed the area down for maintenance problems. One of our elevators seems to be stuck. The fire brigade is here trying to bring it down manually."

Kamui's eyes widened at her words and he spun around quickly, racing for the entrance to the stairs. He had only made it up a couple of flights before Fuuma was suddenly in front of him, blocking his way.

"Come on, don't be such a spoilsport. Let my onii-chan and yours have their fun," the young treasure hunter said.

"Your brother's idea of 'fun' is perverted!" Kamui yelled, leaping forward and extending his claws in an echo of their earlier fight.

This time Fuuma didn't bother to deflect the attack; instead he lunged towards the vampire, grabbing him by the wrists, and pinning him to the wall behind with his hands above his head.

"You know what I think?" he murmured, pressing his forehead against the younger man's. "I think it was awfully unfair of you to drag your brother across multiple worlds without ever consulting him on whether that was his true wish or not."

Kamui's breath hitched at the unexpected closeness, all too aware of the tempting sight of Fuuma's pale muscular neck in front of him and the steady throbbing of the jugular vein which seemed as deafeningly loud as a bass drum in his ears.

"Do you want another taste?" Fuuma's voice drifted down huskily as he pressed himself closer offering…

Kamui tilted his head upwards, locking his violet eyes into Fuuma's own amber ones and parted his lips invitingly…seconds later they were being devoured in a hungry, passionate kiss.

Fuuma plundered the warm, moist cavern of the vampire's mouth enthusiastically, running his tongue lightly over the two sharp canines, so focused on claiming the object of his desire…he failed to notice the corners of the other's mouth turn upward ever so slightly in a smirk as he unconsciously relaxed his firm grip on his captive's wrists.

The treasure hunter was thrown backwards, hitting the stairway railing harshly as Kamui first caught him off-guard with a knee to the stomach, then scored a flying kick to his gut.

"You're such a gullible fool," Kamui sneered impassively before sprinting up the stairs at an inhuman speed.

oOoOoOo

"You know if it weren't for the fact that we're all about to die in a matter of minutes, I'd say this has been a truly wondrous and eye-opening experience that only comes once in a lifetime."

"Oh, I agree, I mean how often do you get to see an elevator which has its own Sea World theme?"

"I come from down south. I hardly ever see snow except on TV and movies."

"And I've been meaning to take a vacation to the beach for years now, but never got around to it, so in a way, all this completes my dying wish."

Inside the elevator the water had almost filled completely up, except for a few feet at the top where everyone was swimming, keeping their heads above the water, and surprisingly the mass panic had died down and people were being very nonchalant about the whole drowning issue.

It was freaking Subaru out.

"Seishirou-san!" he wailed, splashing his fish tail subconsciously in great distress.

"Hush, now, my cute little mermaid," Seishirou said, waving him aside, as he puzzled over Sakura's feather further. "I think I almost got it figured out…"

Then suddenly there was a humongous _thump_ from above their heads and the top of the elevator was ripped open by a pair of elongated wicked-sharp claws.

"ONII-CHAN!!!" screamed Kamui casting his slit yellowed eyes wildly about.

"AAAAAAAAAH!!! IT'S FREDDY KRUEGER!!!"

"NO, HE ISN'T THAT UGLY! IT'S EDWARD SCISSORHANDS!!!"

Kamui's gaze finally came to land upon Subaru…and his mer-parts.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BROTHER, YOU TWISTED SON OF A-!"

"YES!" Seishirou exclaimed triumphantly clutching the feather, cutting him off effectively. "I'VE DONE IT! REVERSE!"

There was a boisterous outbreak of shrill terrified screams as the water in the elevator abruptly receded, turning into a mini whirlpool which the occupants were caught up in and dragged along.

"Seishirou-saaaaaaan!" Subaru cried, flinging one hand towards him as the water ripped and spun him away crazily.

"Subaru-kun!" Seishirou shouted, flinging himself after him.

"Onii-chan!" Kamui yelled diving into the tremulous water headfirst without a second thought.

oOoOoOo

To say that the fire officials and maintenance crew were startled when they at last managed to lower the elevator to the nearest floor and open the doors was an understatement. Completely baffled and dumbfounded would be the more correct terms to use when the trapped group of people stumbled out of their make-shift prison drenched to the skin, sopping wet, with strands of seaweed stuck in their hair and sand scattered on the floor of the elevator and wedged in places people refused to talk about.

"THAT was the _BEST_ freaking ride I've ever been on!" gushed one man excitedly.

"I know! They made the special effects seem so real!" raved another.

"Dude, that whirlpool was my favorite part!"

"No way! Mine was when they had it look like that guy pulled back the elevator's roof all by himself! Excellent makeup job with his hands!"

"And that mermaid they threw in was awesome too! Though someone should tell the creators she would look better with longer hair and maybe a clam-shell bra next time. That jacket she was wearing didn't do her figure justice."

"Is everyone all right here?" asked the Fire Marshal, concerned.

"We're fine, just a little soggy," one woman spoke up, grinning ear to ear. "I just can't believe we were so lucky to be chosen as the beta-testers of Sea World's newest attraction! And I think the idea of hiding it in an ordinary business building like this so it will be a surprise to the public in its opening debut is brilliant!"

One fireman looked to the other and made a circling motion around his head with his finger.

"Maybe a water fountain exploded," the other said shrugging

oOoOoOo

"Do you honestly believe that crap load of lies you fed everyone will cover up the truth of what you did, you sadistic piece of—"

"Now, now, Kamui-chan, let's not use foul language in front of Subaru-kun. It would damage his delicate ears. After all, remember, he's much more innocent than _you_."

"THAT DOES IT! I'M GONNA RIP OUT YOUR TONGUE, GOUGE OUT YOUR EYEBALLS, STUFF THEM UP YOUR NOSTRILS, RIP OUT YOUR INTESTINES AND SCATTER THEM ACROSS EVERY UNIVERSE IN EXISTENCE!!!"

"K-Kamui, Seishirou-san didn't _do_ anything to me, I swear!"

"YOU CALL BEING TURNED INTO A MERMAID BY SOME PYSCHO-MANIAC STALKER FOR HIS OWN SICK AMUSEMENT _NOT DOING ANYTHING TO YOU_?!"

"Kamui, Seishirou-san isn't a stalker!"

"HE'S A STALKER AND A PERVERT AND ALL HE WANTS IS TO GET INTO YOUR PANTS, WHICH SHOULDN'T BE TOO HARD AS HE CONVENIENTLY FORGOT TO GIVE YOU YOUR PANTS BACK AFTER TAKING AWAY YOUR FISH PARTS!"

Subaru turned a shocking shade of red and clutched Seishirou's long trench-coat closer around his body, which the man had taken off and placed on his shoulders to cover his lower half and bare legs.

"Ah, Kamui-chan, don't be blaming this unfortunate circumstance on me by claiming it was something I purposefully did. That was one of the few minor glitches leftover in using Sakura's feather in a reverse manner. But I must confess, Subaru-kun, I never thought you would be one to wear such skimpy underwear," Seishirou stated, lightly slapping Subaru's left bottom cheek through his coat, causing Subaru to let out a high-pitched squeak of surprise.

"I don't really mind, though. It makes it easier to remove, yes?" Seishirou said, smiling like a cat that just swallowed the canary at Kamui's indignant expression.

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU, SICK BASTARD!!!" Kamui screamed in outrage, throwing himself at the treasure hunter, fangs bared and claws outstretched…

Only to be yanked backwards roughly into a firm chest, where a pair of broad arms enveloped him.

"Ah, there you are, Fuuma-bouyo, I wondered where you had gotten to," Seishirou said, nodding pleasantly at his brother.

Kamui gazed upwards to see a pair of glimmering amber eyes staring back down at him in an unreadable countenance.

"Kamui-chan's been a very, _very_ bad boy," Fuuma whispered into his ear in a velvety soft voice. "He deserves to be punished."

Kamui shivered at the implications behind the words and wondered why he was looking forward to it.

"Well, then, I'll just leave you two to catch up then!" Seishirou said, waving at the pair. "Come, Subaru-kun."

Subaru yelped as he was suddenly swept off his feet into Seishirou's arms and carried bridal-style down the street.

"S-S-Seishirou-san! P-Put me down! People will see!" he stammered embarrassedly, but made no move himself to exit the warm limbs which held him lovingly.

"Let them see then. The chase has ended at last and now that I found you again, I will never let you go."

"Seishirou-san…" Subaru said, his cheeks flushing pink in rosy rhapsody.

"KEEP YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF MY ONII-CHAN, YOU PERVERT!!!" Kamui howled, kicking and struggling wildly in Fuuma's embrace.

"Come on, Kamui, let's give them a day's head start wherever they're going. We'll catch up to them soon. After all, my onii-chan is an old geezer compared to me. In the meantime…let me prepare you dinner," Fuuma said, bending his head low and baring his neck.

Kamui's attentiveness on his brother and _that man _together waned after that because he suddenly came to the realization that he was alone with Fuuma in a deserted alleyway that provided countless possibilities, and he was_ unnaturally_ hungry…

oOoOoOo

"You want to choose the next world or should I?" Seishirou asked as they continued walking, nestling the vampire's head against his chest.

Subaru smiled up at him, a shy timid but nonetheless glorious smile and said, "It doesn't matter as long as Seishirou-san is there with me."

Seishirou felt a warm glow light inside his chest as his stomach did wild flip flops that had absolutely nothing to do with that great doe-eyed look Subaru was giving him. No, of course not! Expert treasure hunters such as himself were not sappy in the least—it had to be those eggs he had for breakfast. Fuuma was a terrible cook after all.

It suddenly came to his attention that he was striding off into the sunset with his lover like some fruity hero in those dime-store romance novels and he chuckled at the irony of those books he used to so despise, yet now he knew how incredulously and ridiculously blissful the hero must have felt at finally winning over his love.

"Seishirou-san?"

"Yes, Subaru-kun?"

"I'm so happy we're getting married!"

_KER-THUMP!_

"Seishirou-san! _Seishirou-san_! Seishirou-san, are you alright?!"

Seishirou had fainted.

**THE END**

**A/N: I'd like to thank everyone who read this fic. It took me some time writing this. I'm more knowledgeable of Tokyo Babylon and X/1999's universe, not Tsubasa's. Truth be told, I've only watched a couple of eps and seen the Acid Tokyo OVAs. Luckily my beta reader is a Tsubasa-holic and filled in all the blanks for me that I needed. Love you, Leeayre, you're the best! X3 **

1) Yes, this is what you're thinking: they came from the Loveless world which is owned by Yun Kouga (not me)! XD

2) I hope everyone realizes this is Syaoran from Card Captor Sakura here, not Tsubasa's. I always saw him as a bit of brat, so I was surprised that Tsubasa's version of him had him so mellowed out.

3) I have no idea if Sakura's feather really works that way. I'm used to Seishirou of X who creates illusions, but my beta insisted he made imaginary in reality into Tsubasa so I bowed to her wise intellect. (Besides it was fun torturing the rest of the elevator's people. Muwahahaha!)

**I would really love it if everyone shared their favorite parts: what made them laugh, fall off their chair, etc. I hope I nailed the Tsubasa versions of Seishirou, Subaru, Fuuma and Kamui down right! Thank you so much for reading and I hope it brought a smile to your face and made your day!**


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